


how much twat would a manshark swat if a manshark could swat twat?

by ohnice1



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Humor, PLEASE I AM SORRY, SuperCorp, i don't know her, please read my tags, so much crack, tags in the right order?, this is a crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24524179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohnice1/pseuds/ohnice1
Summary: Kara just came to Hawaii to have a good time and she's honestly feeling so attacked right now.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 11
Kudos: 116





	how much twat would a manshark swat if a manshark could swat twat?

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this prompt: Nanaue (King Shark) keeps interrupting Kara & Lena on a vacation in Hawaii. Please use as many of these* as possible in your drabble.
> 
> *I can't put links here, so give "Buzzfeed lesbian cock block" a Google and you'll understand.
> 
> I am so sorry.
> 
> This is the second Supercorp prompt I’ve filled. I'm still accepting prompts and you can find the details in the pinned tweet on my twitter @ohniceshark. #BlackLivesMatter

I.

The first time it happens, there’s a certain element of humor about it all. A romantic evening on a Hawaiian beach being interrupted by a mythical shark man? Even Lena has to admit there’s a layer of dark humor involved.

Two hours later, when King Shark has been picked up by ARGUS and Lena and Kara are back in their hotel room, Lena swears she hears Kara mutter something about “clam jamming” as she falls asleep and she wonders if that’s a local food item she’s never heard of. 

II.

The next day, Kara’s waiting for drinks at the cabana while Lena dozes (Lena Luthor, relaxed enough to doze! Imagine!) on a lounge chair a short distance away. On her way back, there’s some commotion a short way down. She can see the lifeguard spring into action immediately and decides she (well, Supergirl) isn’t needed, but the activity is enough to stir Lena.

“Did you have a nice nap?” 

Lena rolls her eyes playfully. “I wasn’t asleep.”

“Okay,” Kara drawls sarcastically. “I brought you a bushwacker.”

Lena snorts. “A what?” As she takes the glass, a small amount spills onto her chest, quickly melting and dripping under the edges of her bikini.

“Let me help you with that,” Kara says, leaning towards her girlfriend with what she hopes are _very_ clear intentions. 

“SHARK!!!!!”

Panic ensues and it can only mean one thing, Kara knows.

No, not just a shark.

King Shark.

“You have _got_ to be kidding me,” she mutters, taking off down the beach towards the commotion.

“That’s one way of getting bushwacked,” Lena comments to no one but herself as she relaxes back in her chair.

III.

After what she would deem a relatively aggressive phone call with Barry (“You tell him,” Lena had encouraged, straw firmly clamped between her teeth), Kara feels confident that she’s finally going to be able to enjoy her first vacation with Lena. An ARGUS team was still in the area conducting an after-action analysis after King Shark’s escape, so his pick-up this time is much more efficient; after only an hour, she’s back in her lounge chair next to Lena, who’s no longer dozing and has flipped onto her stomach.

“Hi,” Kara greets her easily as if she hadn’t just finished fighting Jaws and Bigfoot’s lovechild.

“Oh, Kara, hi! I didn’t notice you there. I was so busy staring at this blonde just a way down the beach...about your height, tussling with a sharkman. Sort of a strange bird though, who wears a full-body suit to the beach?” Lena grins but doesn’t open her eyes.

“Sounds like a weirdo,” Kara retorts, reaching for her completely melted daiquiri that she’s certain Lena drank at least a fourth of. “Is she hot?”

“Eh.”

Kara rolls her eyes so intensely she’s sure Lena can feel it through her closed eyelids. 

“Don’t roll your eyes, darling. You know I think you’re the _hottest,_ ” Lena drawls, a strange mix of serious and...tipsy? “Speaking of hot,” she begins, taking Kara’s glass from her and setting it on the table.

“Yes, my drink melted, thank you for your condolences!” Kara pouts dramatically.

“I was _going_ to say that I’m starting to burn and getting really hot, so I thought about going back to the room for a shower.”

“Oh.” Kara’s shoulders drop and she sags back against the lounge chair, believing she’s in the doghouse for leaving her girlfriend alone on the beach and expecting to spend the next few hours by herself as well.

Lena tilts her head to the side and raises her eyebrows the way teachers do when they catch on to mischief. “I was hoping you’d join me, I wasn’t implying I was going to leave you here,” she clarifies with a smirk.

If Lena didn’t know better, she’d think Kara used a little bit of superspeed to gather their stuff.

They were nearly back to the room when Kara heard it: dramatic splashing, screaming, general panic.

“Twat swatting son of a-” Lena hears Kara mutter as she drops their beach bag and takes off towards the beach again.

IV.

The third time’s the charm and Kara knows better than to be surprised when she hears the snapping of wood and an otherworldly snarl coming from the beach while they’re having dinner.

Lena makes a note to ask Kara later what on Earth she meant when she casually shouted, “Scissorception!” as she got up from the table.

  
  


V.

It’s been 3 days and Kara is _certain_ her nightmare is over. Today, she and Lena have already:

  * Hiked a volcano
  * Zip lined (which is...not exciting when you can fly or have a girlfriend who can fly, Kara and Lena realize respectively)
  * Taken a “nap” (Kara’s preferred term, because who can say “afternoon delight” with a straight face? _Honestly_.)



Now, they’re lazily stretched out on lounge chairs, loosely interconnected hands dangling between their chairs.

“What was your favorite part about today?” Kara asks.

“I’m partial to round 3 myself,” Lena drawls.

“Round 3?! Man, 2 was really some of my best work.”

“Really? Well, you _did_ have me concerned about wall thickness,” Lena pretends to consider. She barely even has time to notice Kara using her superspeed again before the other woman is perched upon her thighs, her legs carefully placed between the outside of Lena’s and the side of the chair.

“I guess I’ll just have to make sure there’s no doubt left in your mind by the end of the day.”

“I’m willing to put in the work,” Lena agrees, grabbing Kara’s collar and pulling her down to bring their lips together. Almost immediately, they’re interrupted by a man clearing his throat.

“Sorry to box you out, ladies, but I need to talk to Supergirl. I’m Arthur.”

VI.

It’s definitely a portal problem. Arthur is _really_ angry about losing his trident in one of them and he and Kara drunkenly lament the impact King Shark’s constant presence is having on their respective love lives.

When Kara shouts, “He just came all TACO BLOCKO up in here! Who even does that?!” at the poolside bar, Lena makes a mental note to ask sober-Kara if she’s been googling “how to be a lesbian.”

VII.

Kara is beginning to wonder how many portal generators King Shark has swallowed. She commits to coming up with the proper aquatic pun for a shark-version of “beaver damming.”

VIII.

Kara’s patrolling in the air offshore after she and Arthur managed to drive Nanaue ( _When in Hawaii, right?!_ she muses to herself with a snort-laugh. She really needs to get a life.) away from the beach. She briefly considers tuning in for Lena’s heartbeat, idly wondering if she’s nervous about Kara’s wellbeing or half-asleep with a daiquiri (more likely), but King Shark is flung out of the water and into her direction before she has a chance. A well-directed heat vision blast to his right hand (flipper? _fland?_ ) finally takes care of the portal device he’d managed to have implanted under his skin.

In one swift motion, Arthur has a grip on the unconscious brute and they disappear under the surface with not much more than a “Mahalo, Kara!” thrown over his shoulder.

VIIII.

“I can’t believe this trip is already over,” Kara sulks as she lugs what most people would probably notice as too many suitcases for one person at a time out of their hotel room.

“And you never got to try the clam jam,” Lena pities.

Kara laughs so hard she drops everything she’s carrying. “What?!”

Lena furrows her brow. “The first night King Shark showed up, you fell asleep muttering something about clam jamming.”

Kara snorts. “Oh. Right. That,” she says sheepishly. “Well. I might have just read that in a Buzzfeed article about the lesbian version of cock blocking.”

“You googled how to be a lesbian, didn’t you?” Lena teases, breezing down the corridor while Kara picks up the bags again.

“EARTH SLANG IS WEIRD, OKAY?!”

X.

“Of course I read that article, too! How else would I have known the phrase ‘bushwacked?!’” Lena admits while they’re unpacking back in National City and talking about the highlights of their vacation.

Kara has never felt so vindicated.

**Author's Note:**

> please forgive me


End file.
